Friday, June 20, 2008

I broke up with running

I broke up with running, just like the ads say.
We saw too much of each other, day after day.
And then when I got sick, it didn't nurse me like I expected. Up until that point, running always made me feel better: my health and self-esteem. I started to resent running.

Miami spring days turned molten and soggy - running didn't make me happy anymore. The time on my watch dripped by and each step drained me. I tried the treadmill at the gym, but the halogen lights made our affair seem so contrived. I tried signing up for races to be inspired, but they came and went without sparking anything.

So I stopped. I rested. I cleansed my system. Then I watched it rain for three days. In the height of the storm, in torrential monsoon rains, I decided it was time to run again.

I am in love again.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Nice Side Effect

Ever since giving birth (over 3 years ago), I've been weepy.  
I weep when I see Publix commercials, I weep at the news, I weep when I see little kids holding up signs that say "Run Mommy Run."  No kidding, I have to fight back real tears 15-20 times a day over the minutest of things.  When I know no one is around, I let 'er rip, but that is rare these days.

I have had to suppress the urge to cry zero times since I started fasting.  Weird, like birth left some Tear Toxin in me and I've been able to "eliminate" it.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008


I've been absent, well, because I haven't had much to say. Times, they are a stable. Which reminds me of an old saying: "Is it a blessing or a curse to be given just enough?"

So, I thought I'd shake things up a bit by detoxing my body. By detoxing, I mean feeding myself nothing but a mixture of lemon juice, syrup, water, and cayenne pepper for 5 days and waiting for the "eliminations."   Honestly, I hope to figure out why I've been nauseated for 2 1/2 years since the doctors can't.

Last week, starting Monday, I prepped by abstaining from all kinds of caffeine, including coffee. To say that I live and love coffee can be summed up in two ways: a) I have a tattoo of a coffee cup b) I was raised in Seattle (where my high school had an espresso cart before anywhere East of the Columbia River did). It was horrific.  The hours I wasn't asleep, I was wishing I was dead...and I think maybe my family was, too. It wasn't until Saturday (day 6) that I was able to be somewhat normal.
On Sunday evening, I ran a 5K race in a decent time, but I was really struggling. I had a banana post-race and began my "fast".

I've made it two days now and am doing alright.  I'm not starving, rather,  I feel like there are 40 hours in a day.  When I remove food from my life (whether it is baking, preparing meals, going out to lunch/dinner or having snacks), there is a tremendous hole.

Anyway - my mind is clear as a bell, which is unusual, especially without caffeine.  A few more days to go.  Can I survive the boredom?