Thursday, April 23, 2009

Rescued again!

14 weeks 6 days pregnant

So, I've got this mysterious green phlegmy illness that only seems to bother me at night and in the morning.  I've been pretty high functioning this week, until it was time to take my son to preschool.  Blah.  That's all I felt.  And once I dropped him off, the numbness morphed into apathy and then self-pity.  That's when I feel paralyzed; unable to accomplish anything...not even unload the dishwasher.  I could only look at the clock and watch the time I had before picking my boy up just vanish.  After 2 1/2 hours of wandering the house and snooping at old friend's holiday pictures on Facebook - and only having 1 hour left - I forced myself to put on my running clothes and shoes.  I didn't quite have motivation or a plan, but at least I was dressed.

I hoped in my car, and decided to find a place to run.  I didn't want any hills, but all the tracks are at schools (thus closed during school hours).  So, I figured I'd head down to the YMCA, where I could fit in 35 minutes of treadmill time.  Blah.

But, I forced myself there, and I forced myself onto the treadmill for just 5 minutes.  When 5 minutes was up, I promised myself just 5 minutes more.  By then, I felt good and was eager to keep going - even disappointed went he time was up.

Running broke me from the self-loathing phase and paralysis it causes.  I'm so glad I forced myself to move.  

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